I have struggled to write this post because I could not clearly define the purpose of sharing my experience. I guess my eureka moment came at 2:24 AM! I am sharing my experience to encourage and speak life to anyone facing any form of rejection and to remind you that as cliche as this may sound, there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Sometime ago, my goal was to land the ‘perfect’ job straight out of school. Your guess is as good as mine. That’s when adages such as “Man proposes, God disposes” hits hard. The job search period was indeed a learning period for me. It was a period where I hit rock bottom. The icing on the cake was that while I was facing rejections from companies, I was also experiencing a fallout in other areas of my life.
As I mentioned, this period was a learning curve for me. I began to learn that my degree or lack of a job did not define who I am. I had known this in theory but I guess it was time to pass the test. A test I failed a few times when I shrugged or paused while answering the dreaded question, ‘what do you do’ or ‘where do you work’? If I was given a penny for every time I was asked that question, I would have been a millionaire.
While I was job searching, I was freelancing but it was not attached to a company and certainly did not have the fanciest title. So, the question of “what do you do?”, was a dreadful experience for me. I had to get comfortable with saying I was scouting for a job. In addition, I had to remind myself that not having a job at the moment did not mean that I was less or lacking in some area. Of course during this time, I built my skills in areas that I felt could give me an advantage in the job market. However, I became okay with knowing that whether I got a job or not, I was born to do great things (I was already doing great things) and I was going to create my own path. I had started to see beauty in my experience. And that is all that mattered.
It is very easy to take on rejection and feel like it says a lot about who you are. You start to think, maybe you are not as smart as you thought; or maybe you do not deserve a job; or maybe you need more degrees to qualify for a job; or maybe you are a failure…Pause! Non of that is true. In some instances, you may need to do a certification or improve your interview skills. However, rejection does not define who you are. It does not mean that you are a failure. It is okay to reflect on why you were rejected, if there is a valid reason, work on those area and keep moving.
I say “keep moving” because having been rejected many times, I became scared of putting myself out there. I started to reject myself even before I was rejected. It is very important that you take time to feel and take a break from applying for that job or college degree if you need to, but get back at it! And while at it, do not keep doing the same things you used to do – try something different. According to Albert Einstein, “ The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result.” While you cannot control how things play out on the other side, you can control things on your end. Suddenly, knowing I did my best removed the sting from rejection. It was no longer the monster I thought was lurking in the dark. This applies to rejection in other areas of life too – not just job search.
Another lesson I learned during this period was that God was my source. Trust me, a job is only one of the ways that God can provide for your needs. At the nick of time, there was always provision for my need. This scripture Philippians 4:19 became real, ‘But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.’ He supplied just what I needed at the right time (phew JIT, gotta throw in some lean principles in there).
Finally, there is nothing new under the sun – hearing the stories of others and having a support system helped my job search period feel less gruesome. Although our lessons may differ, I urge you to see rejection or whatever challenges you are faced with as a lesson. Learn as much as you can from rejection or disappointments because it teaches you to be thankful, it teaches you empathy towards others who are faced with similar situation, and resilience which we all need in this journey called life.
It’s 3:37 AM now and nature calls. ✌🏽
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Mercy Ebuetse is the founder and Editor-in-Chief of Brielle Magazine and Billionette. She launched Brielle Magazine 6 years ago to use her platform to inspire and empower readers through a mix of; Faith, Lifestyle, and Culture. Through her platform Billionette, she is committed to curating the stories of young female entrepreneurs in a single comprehensive document as a go-to for other women; thereby creating a transnational community where others can find inspiration, a how-to, a why-not, and a me-too.