Every teenage guy asks themselves this million-dollar question at some point or another. If you haven’t already caught yourself pondering the question, then my suspicion is that you’ve not hit your teenage years yet. Here’s the million-dollar question: “What’s the first thing I should say to her to get her to notice me?”
If you think a girl is cool, and like the way she interacts with other guys, but don’t know how to get her to notice you or have a conversation with you, then I have some suggestions for you. Actually, it’s really just one, but you can spin it in so many different directions, as you see fit.
Here’s the biggest tip in breaking the ice: ask open ended questions! Don’t just throw out random questions, though. Ask questions that are directed at her as a person. Also, don’t ask more than 2 questions initially. Brevity is your best friend. Captivate, and leave them wanting more.
I’d suggest the first question should be her name – and make every effort to learn how to say it right. Practice saying it right in front of her. Do it comically, if you have it in you. If not, then just say it back to her.
The next question should be rather open ended, which will allow her to share some information about herself. Perhaps you might start with a compliment, and then lead into your question. After she responds, you could either choose to end that round of conversation – which is highly recommended – or ask follow-up questions based on her response.
But again, remember that brevity is your best friend. You have to leave her curious and wanting more. Just your ability to ask an insightful question and listening attentively to her responses will score you the attention you wanted.
Here are 3 examples of open ended questions to help you get the conversation flowing:
1. Your outfit is gorgeous. You seem to put a lot of thought into your dressing. What inspires your dress sense?
2. Nice headphones. What genre of music do you like? What do you like about it?
3. Hey I’m [Insert your first name]
A. What’s your name? [Closed ended. Repeat her name]
B. I’m new to the area. Are you local? [Closed ended]
1. If yes, then ask, “what is fun to do around here?” [Open ended]
2. If no, then ask, “how do you like it around here?” [Open ended]
Remember the objective this time is just to break the ice and get her to notice you. So, smile, and be comfortable in your own skin. And don’t worry…she won’t notice you’re really freaking out on the inside. 🙂
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Ugo is an energetic and dynamic youth leader and the president of the nonprofit NEU Gen Leaders. He is the author of 2 books – Secrets of Academic Excellence and The NEU Era. He can be reached at [email protected].