Remember Rudolph – the red-nosed reindeer? He had a red nose which glowed and showed the other reindeers the way to go. If you’re familiar with the Christmas song, you’d know the verse that reads,
“All of the other reindeers
Used to laugh and call him names
They never let poor Rudolph
Join in any reindeer games”
Leaders and Rudolph have so much in common. They have the qualities that set them apart and enable them to lead people – i.e. their red nose. However, these same qualities tend to alienate leaders. This is a great price leaders have to pay – being “misfits”.
As an effective leader, you have to be visionary, disciplined, time conscious, goal oriented, and have good people skills, among other qualities. Well, unfortunately, a good majority of the people you will interact with on a daily basis will either not care about these qualities, neither will they appreciate you for having them.
Having people diss you for being disciplined or goal oriented will hurt most times. This, too, is a pain only leaders will understand. Here are some tips on how to deal with the feeling of being a misfit:
1. Do a quick self assessment – this is to be sure you’re a misfit for the right reasons. Don’t delude yourself thinking you’re exhibiting leadership when you’re being downright obnoxious. It might be helpful to have a trustworthy friend help validate the presence of the leadership qualities you believe you’re practicing
2. Embrace it – if you confirm that you really do possess the qualities of leadership, then hang on to them.
3. Change circles – realize that if you continue spending time with people who don’t appreciate your leadership abilities, you will lose those qualities. You will gradually stop displaying the qualities that get you negative feedback from your friends.
So, the best thing to do if you’re sure you’re not fitting in because of your budding leadership qualities is to change circle of friends. The world needs those qualities that you carry that make you not fit in. Don’t lose them; go where they are appreciated!
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Ugo is an energetic and dynamic speaker. He is the founder of NEU Gen Leaders – a youth leadership organization with a mission of helping the youth discover their life’s identity and mission. He is the author of the book “Secrets of Academic Excellence”.