Leadership comes at a high price. Being misunderstood is just one of many. Leaders are bound to be misunderstood. That’s just the nature of the beast, and it has nothing to do with age. Imagine being an introverted child born into a family of extroverts. You might be called a “Loser” or a “Loner” for desiring solitude – like wanting to cuddle up and read an interesting novel, play games, or spend countless hours experimenting with different colors of nail polish – while everyone else wants to go “hang out” at the mall. That’s a tough spot to be in. Being misunderstood means that people are not seeing your actions through the lenses you’re seeing them.
Leaders at all levels are well acquainted with this feeling. Often times, people – including random strangers – will mistake your confidence for arrogance. Others will consider your beautiful smile and sense of fashion as an expression of cockiness. Even Jesus Christ – the embodiment of perfect humility – was misunderstood on several occasions and thought to be arrogant and full of Himself!
If you feel misunderstood, don’t allow yourself to feel lonely because you’re not alone. It’s a part of leadership. Here are some things to consider:
1. If you were misunderstood and criticized, don’t get defensive. Don’t try to explain why you’re not what the critic says you are. Save your breath, but consider the feedback and test it for truth based on the things you know about yourself
2. Ask genuine friends whose feedback you consider honest and unbiased if they agree with the critic
3. Stay the course. Don’t change yourself based on invalidated criticism. Realize that sometimes you’re misunderstood because you unveiled your ideas too early. You just might be ahead of your time. But time will prove whether you’re right or not. If you’re right, don’t get cocky! If you realize you were wrong, make course corrections quickly and keep on living.
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Ugo is an energetic and dynamic speaker. He is the founder of NEU Gen Leaders – a youth leadership organization with a mission of helping the youth discover their life’s identity and mission. He is the author of the book “Secrets of Academic Excellence”.